I saw him today. after almost 5 years, he stepped into the store while I was at work. he was with his girlfriend. should I have said something to her? maybe I should've warned her I don't know.

(i didnt edit this, and you can tell lol. but i just wanted to write down the thoughts I've been having these past weeks like they came.)

monday 27/03/2023
on march 8th, we wanted to go to Rocher de Falize, a spot not far from malmedy where you had a great view. but as we were walking towards malmedy, the weather started to get a lot worse, so we decided to get some groceries instead. i only had a little backpack on my shoulders, but...

did i die? yes and no. i feel like i'm slowly losing touch with the person i thought i was. i don't recognize myself sometimes. i do things i normally wouldn't do without even thinking about it. it's kinda scary. i know i'm growing a lot, but it's all happening so fast. i feel like i'm on a rollercoaster going...

we met last summer. i started my current job in june of last year. i first met him during our mutual lunch break, just the two of us. he was too shy to say anything, so i started the conversation. he was the first colleague i felt a connection with so soon. he must've felt the same way,...

i quickly want to say a huge thank you to everyone who still visited my blog after so long <3 i thought this page was dead and forgotten, but you kept it alive :')

i didn't really feel like writing today, but a lot of things have happened since the last time i wrote, and i don't want to forget them.

so. i'm back after my dramatic outburst lol. i had absolutely no inspiration or motivation to write another post, so i'm sorry for my absence.

i'm trying to tell myself it's not my fault. i didn't choose this life for myself, but a part of me always thinks i'm faking everything and that i've tricked every psychologist into believing i have depression and anxiety. like i will have a full blown panic attack, and after i've calmed down for a bit i think...

these past few days have been one of the worst experiences of my life. i initially didn't want to write about it, because i'm so embarrassed, but i wanted to document my story. even if it means telling you the parts i wish weren't part of it.