i once again am giving myself mental breakdowns left and right that involve crying in hotel rooms, on the street and in the train. but this time, i'm gonna post about it on insta: https://www.instagram.com/dezusjess?igsh=MXI4MjM4aXZtcThxMg==

(i didnt edit this, and you can tell lol. but i just wanted to write down the thoughts I've been having these past weeks like they came.)

monday 27/03/2023
on march 8th, we wanted to go to Rocher de Falize, a spot not far from malmedy where you had a great view. but as we were walking towards malmedy, the weather started to get a lot worse, so we decided to get some groceries instead. i only had a little backpack on my shoulders, but...

did i die? yes and no. i feel like i'm slowly losing touch with the person i thought i was. i don't recognize myself sometimes. i do things i normally wouldn't do without even thinking about it. it's kinda scary. i know i'm growing a lot, but it's all happening so fast. i feel like i'm on a rollercoaster going...

we met last summer. i started my current job in june of last year. i first met him during our mutual lunch break, just the two of us. he was too shy to say anything, so i started the conversation. he was the first colleague i felt a connection with so soon. he must've felt the same way,...

i quickly want to say a huge thank you to everyone who still visited my blog after so long <3 i thought this page was dead and forgotten, but you kept it alive :')

i didn't really feel like writing today, but a lot of things have happened since the last time i wrote, and i don't want to forget them.

so. i'm back after my dramatic outburst lol. i had absolutely no inspiration or motivation to write another post, so i'm sorry for my absence.

i'm trying to tell myself it's not my fault. i didn't choose this life for myself, but a part of me always thinks i'm faking everything and that i've tricked every psychologist into believing i have depression and anxiety. like i will have a full blown panic attack, and after i've calmed down for a bit i think...

these past few days have been one of the worst experiences of my life. i initially didn't want to write about it, because i'm so embarrassed, but i wanted to document my story. even if it means telling you the parts i wish weren't part of it.